Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Presenting Mikaela Green Kern

She's here at last!  Last night was crazy, and not at all the birth I expected.  I had some decent but very sporadic contractions all day, but nothing consistent.  We were scheduled to come in to the hospital at 8:30pm to start me on a low dose of Pitocin (a labor induction drug) with the hopes that since I was already a little bit dilated and softened, a low dose administered overnight while I slept would get things going.  I was even prescribed a sleeping pill. 

So we checked in, and by the time everything was all hooked up with about 10:45.  The nurses said we probably wouldn't see any action for a while, so we decided Byron should head back home for the night (we only live 5 minutes away) and get some sleep, and be ready to be called back in as soon as things started to happen.  The nurses assured me they wouldn't be unecessarily waking me up all night, and strapped on the fetal heartrate and contraction monitors and left me to sleep. 

I dozed on and off for about two hours before I started to get some pretty decent contractions, but I was able to breathe/moan my way through them as I laid on my side.  At about 3 am they started to get really strong, and I started to wish I hadn't sent Byron home.  But I figured I would wait a little while longer before calling the nurses back in (I had long intense contractions with Leo for hours, so I had no reason to think this wouldn't be the case again).  Well by 3:15, each contraction came with an urge to push, which I tried to ignore, thinking I just needed to relax a bit (it couldn't possibly be time to push already, right?).  Finally at 3:30, I just HAD to get up out of the bed, and had a contraction as I sat up that sent a gush of liquid down my leg.  For some reason, I was sure I had just peed on myself.  Ha. Turns out it was my water breaking.

I scooted into the bathroom, and the moment I sat down on the toilet I was overwhelmed by the need to push.  Now I've heard other women say before that they feel a strong urge to push, but with Leo it was never that intense - I pushed with him because they said I was ready.  Not so this time.  There was nothing in this world that could have stopped me.  For some reason (grogginess maybe?), I still wasn't convinced I was pushing out a baby - but 15 seconds later her head was out, and I reached down and grabbed her and pushed one more time and pulled her up onto my lap. She cried for about 5 seconds, them tucked in next to me.

After hyperventilating for a few seconds, I remembered there was a nurse call button next to me, and whacked it.  And then sat there, by myself on the toilet, still hyperventilating, and looking at the baby on my lap.  The nurse showed up about 15 seconds later, and with a very shocked look on her face, said "Oh.  You had a baby."  About 5 other nurses appeared about of nowhere, and limped me back to the bed, cleaned up and checked over the baby, and summoned the on-call doctor to check me over and deliver the placenta. 

And oh yeah, called Byron to tell him to come back in because his wife just had the baby.  Craziness.

Despite the wild delivery, she started to nurse right away (and vigorously).  And nursed well all morning before spending the vast majority of this afternoon asleep.  She's officially 9 pounds, 1 ounce, and 21 inches long.  When I asked one of the nurses about whether they could see any of my increasing contractions on their monitor, she said that because I was laying on my side, it didn't show up as strongly as it should.  So they had no idea how close I was.

So somehow, I had an unattended, self-delivered birth in the middle of a hospital.  It sucks that Byron missed it, but it's still much better than lingering on for 3 days.  I'll take 4 hours of intensity over Leo's 53 hours anytime. 


Tony said...


Many congrats, but wow... I heard that the second time you deliver it's easier then the first but you officially take the cake.


Hippie Mama Kelly said...

You were not kidding when you said you had a crazy story! I told you the second one was going to surprise you! Congrats again to you and the entire family!!!

Karen said...

Hmm, is the doctor going to give you a discount since he didn't perform the main service for which you hired him? Good job, Elise!

sharondmckee said...

I have no words. None. Flabbergasted. In awe. Wow. WAY TO GO GIRL!!!

Goddess in Progress said...


That is one of the wildest birth stories I have ever heard. I can't believe you delivered her yourself in the damn bathroom!!! I'm so glad to hear that, other than being completely insane, your birth experience was otherwise quick and relatively easy, and that both of you are doing well. Big hugs to you, mama! You're incredible!

Marci said...

HOLY CRAP! You weren't kidding about having a crazy story! When you said you caught her, I was picturing a Kardashians like experience not an I didn't know I was pregnant bathroom labor type of story. WOW! Thank god it was quick and that you are both doing well! If you have a third, you should just go for a home birth, lol.

In all seriousness, congrats! You're incredible! But I am sorry Byron missed it.

Kim's Crafty Apple said...

Holy crap! What a story you'll have forEVER! Glad everyone's doing well!

Tiah said...

Amazing story. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations!!!!

Amanda said...

Wow. That is f%€£ing nuts. Was not expecting the punchline to be "so I gave birth in the bathroom by myself". That really IS an I Didnt Know I Was Pregnant scenario! Maybe your body was cutting you some slack since Leo took so long?
Glad everyone is doing well! Can't wait to meet her!

Rachel said...

For reals? Holy moly Lisie, your girl knows how to make an enterance! Congrats and way to keep a cool head.

Rhyner said...

I can already tell this Mikaela is gonna be a drama queen. Wowzers. You really can do anything Lisie. So happy you are both doing fine.